03 March 2010

The Guide: Honey Dips & Whips

I have been rollin' in the same ride since I was in 11th grade. It's about time I got a new whip, but I am having a little difficulty deciding what I want to get. All of a sudden it dawned on me....this could be one of the biggest decisions I make in my entire life! Why, you ask? Certain rides attract a specific type of women. My '99 Nissan Altima was a two-face. During the day light it attracted absolutely no ladies. Not even the big ones. But at night time, when my ride was on a street that was not well lit, I got a lil' attention. But unfortunately, those ladies suffered from Big Toe Deficiency. So I'll be the first to tell you that I am very anxious to get a new whip. It's crucial that the ride I buy attracts the type of women I want. For all of the other fellas out there, I have created a guide to help make your honey dip/whip experience a more successful one.

1. Type of Honey Dip: Long Legged, Long Torso Lady

    Type of Whip Required: '00 Ford Explorer or any other 2-door SUV.

2. Type of Honey Dip: Big Booty Judy

    Type of Whip Required: Any 4-door car from the mid-90's that is sturdy enough for the lady to lean against and get her booty shakin' on (See same video from above).

3. Type of Honey Dip: Wild Alcoholic Chick

Type of Whip Required: Any kind of Truck with a Camper.

4. Type of Honey Dip: Emotionally Unstable Girl

Type of Whip Required: Lil' Van with Big Dubs.

5. Type of Honey Dip: "Pinkies Out" Ed Hardy Chica and/or Guidette

Type of Whip Required: Yellow H2 Hummer (any other color won't be as potent to the ladies)

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