Why You Should Stay In School (Part I)

Stay in school so you are smart enough not to get your hair did like this...

The Showdown II

Survey Says responds with yet another amazing video to build hype. In case ya don't know, the big showdown is tomorrow! Be there or be square!


Serial Killer from Survey Says on Vimeo.

Members of Phi Slamma' Jamma': Amar'e Stoudemire

Phi Slamma' Jamma' is an elite group of ballers who sky in the air and dunk all over other players. The first member I will highlight is the man-child, Amar'e Stoudemire. Over his career, Amar'e has baptized many dudes. Here are his top five dunks that are responsible for his induction into Phi Slamma' Jamma'...

March Madness: Me vs. A 6th Grader (Part III)

Through 3 rounds, my bracket is putting a hurtin' on G-Money's. But I'm still cautious because G-Money's champion, Baylor, is still alive. Whereas, my champ, Kansas, has been out since last week. His only chance of beating me is for Baylor to beat Duke on sunday, then go one and win the whole thing. Baylor's team colors are the worst combo ever! Green and yellow??? No way they beat these elite schools like Duke and Kentucky!

Standings Through 3 Rounds
My Bracket: 49 points
G-Money's Bracket: 30 points

Come on, Duke! Put a hurtin' to these green and yellow dudes!!!

March Madness: Me vs. A 6th Grader (Part II)

So after a crazy opening round in the tournament, I am more worried than I should be. Originally after looking at G-Money's bracket, I thought I had this in the bag. But thanks to upsets from Saint Marys and Murray St., G-Money is looking like a genius! With all of the random picks he made, G-Money somehow has all four of his Final Four intact. But as long as the #1 seeds take care of business I should be alright. Still, this is much too close for comfort. I should be dominating!

Standings after 1 Round
Me - 24 pts
G-Money - 19 pts

Murray State...Quit playing like the other school from Kentucky!!!

March Madness: Me vs. A 6th Grader (Part I)

I've always taken heat for my sports knowledge from friends and family, but at the same time I am confident (overconfident at times) when making sports predictions. This morning, I was filling out an NCAA Tournament bracket with my coworkers and they were hating on my picks. One of the guys said "Damn, son! One of your special ed students could probably make better picks than you!" I took that as a challenge. I went into my classroom and had one of my 6th grade students fill out a bracket. For legal purposes, I will refer to him as G-Money. He is unable to write, so I wrote out all of the teams on notecards and showed him two cards at a time. Slowly but surely he made his picks. I must say, G-Money likes the letter "B" which explains why he ended up picking Baylor and BYU in the championship. I posted both his bracket and mine and I will be scoring both of them as the tournament plays out.  If I lose this, it would be really embarrassing. But I gotta prove to my coworkers, friends, and family that I do indeed know more about sports than middle schoolers. I'm really hoping teams like BYU, Wofford, & Houston don't make huge runs in this tourney. Especially Baylor...if they win it all, G-Money is a genius and I will promote him to 7th grade immediately!

G-Money's Bracket

My Bracket

Please lose, Baylor! I need this badly...

Girl Fight!!!

Every dude loves a good girl fight. There's just something about girl on girl action that holds a guy's attention. Brittney Griner, 6'8" freshman enforcer for Baylor's women's basketball team, laid a nice punch smack dab on some white girl. If you ask me, the white girl was asking for it. See for yourself...

The Showdown I

On April 10th, the biggest basketball showdown in the history of Tucson will take place between Survey Says (Team Burbank) and Friends With Benefits (Team Arizona). This heated rivalry has been going on for months with both sides dishin' out that trash. Who's gonna serve who? Me and my Friends with Benefits of course! But the buildup for the big showdown has reached new heights today as Survey Says sent over a video in an attempt to intimidate the competition. So here is their video in full length. The Friends With Benefits will respond in the upcoming weeks, no doubt.

Cherry Pop. from Survey Says on Vimeo.

I know, I know, that video is so sweet! It is amazing! The quality, the sound effects, the camera angels, the slow motion....it's unbelievable. But before you go all crazy and crown Survey Says the champs, you need to take a look at the real standings. Both their team and my team have played games against other teams in preparation for the big showdown. After you peep the standings, judge for yourself who the team to beat is.

The Best of Pickup Ball

Every man loves a good game of pickup basketball. But there's always that one guy that takes the fun out of it and causes problems. Whether the guy calls frequent fouls, hogs the ball, or is playing too physical, someone always ruins the game for at least one player.

From the movie, The Cable Guy, this clip involves a pickup game with Jack Black, Ferris Bueller, and Jim Carrey. Surprisingly, Jack Black is not the guy that is causing the trouble...

Last Second Hurls Part 1

Every basketball player dreams of sinking that last second shot to win the big game. Buzzer beaters aren't just for the pros. Youngsters in college and high school are capable of knocking them down as well. Now there are many types of last second hurls, but the one thing they all have in common is that a lot of luck is involved.


Now the first type of last second hurl is the "In Your Face" shot. This occurs when a player dribbles the full distance of the court and flings up a runner with the defense in his face...



Another type of last second hurl is the "He Must Be Religious" shot. This occurs when someone launches an impossible full court prayer and everyone on the court is thinking that God had something to do with it going in...



The next type is probably the rarest. The "Booty Shot" is so rare that it has only happened once in the history of basketball. This last second hurl takes place when a player is sitting down on the court and effortlessly sinks the shot...

The Reign Man Returns

Shawn Kemp, one of the NBA's most memorable players from the 90's is making his way back to the courts. No, not the legal courts for another paternity test. Shawn Kemp is making his return to the basketball courts... this time in Italy.



In celebration of Shawn Kemp's most recent comeback attempt, I would like to give the Reign Man some face time and acknowledge his most notable past achievements doings.

1. Humiliating Alton Lister



2. Multiple arrests for possession of marijuana.

3. Having 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. (And still counting)

Making his professional comeback in Italy is a brilliant move. It's safe to say that most of the women in Italy have never heard of Shawn Kemp (or of his potent love nector). But even if he becomes an Italian League legend, Shawn Kemp will never surpass current illegitimate champ, Calvin Murphy.


Calvin Murphy bursted onto the scene in 1970 when he made his NBA debut with the Houston Rockets. He played in Houston for 13 years which resulted in a Texas-sized fan base full of loose, bell bottom wearing, single women. By the end of his career, Calvin Murphy had a whopping 14 children by 9 women.

So at least we know Shawn Kemp will be employed for the next year and will be bringing in a steady paycheck. Paying those child support bills will definitely keep the kiddies happy...